Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Final Resignation
I'm tired. Sad.
Tried to give my all but to wasted efforts.
I'm the one trying,
He takes it for granted.
I'm the one crying all the time.
He's the one losing his temper.
I avoided talking to my friends so he wouldn't get angry.
He went out with his friends. Girls included.
I couldn't eat a single thing. Missed lunch, missed dinner.
He was out having dinner with his friends.
He expects me to call him.
He refused to call cos he expected me to call.
He told me to leave messages if I couldn't get him.
I did, and it was my fault he didn't receieved it.
1.5 hour late. He loses it.
Disappearing act: 4 Hours. He gets annoyed when I lost it. And I didn't actually. I tried to be coherent and calm despite being so upset I was choking back tears.
He doubts me. "You're lying, you're lying."
I put up with it. I denied, and assured him.
He?
Bah.
"I don't think I'm at fault and I don't see why you're throwing a tantrum."
Of course not.
Will it kill to console. Allergic to affection?
Is an "I'm sorry, I love you baby" too much to ask for?
Is a hug too difficult to give?
Don't I deserve to be spoilt, or even loved anymore?
The torturous pain. The agonizing confusion. I never want to go through that again.
'Why isn't his phone turned on?'
'Is he avoiding me?'
'Is he with a girl, and he doesn't want me distrupting their date?'
'Is he making out with a girl?'
'Is he screwing the girl?'
Retribution? Ha.
I don't want to know. Nor care anymore.
I'm sure he doesn't either.
It's way overdued but I've finally made up my mind:
I give up.
I'm tired. Sad.
Tried to give my all but to wasted efforts.
I'm the one trying,
He takes it for granted.
I'm the one crying all the time.
He's the one losing his temper.
I avoided talking to my friends so he wouldn't get angry.
He went out with his friends. Girls included.
I couldn't eat a single thing. Missed lunch, missed dinner.
He was out having dinner with his friends.
He expects me to call him.
He refused to call cos he expected me to call.
He told me to leave messages if I couldn't get him.
I did, and it was my fault he didn't receieved it.
1.5 hour late. He loses it.
Disappearing act: 4 Hours. He gets annoyed when I lost it. And I didn't actually. I tried to be coherent and calm despite being so upset I was choking back tears.
He doubts me. "You're lying, you're lying."
I put up with it. I denied, and assured him.
He?
Bah.
"I don't think I'm at fault and I don't see why you're throwing a tantrum."
Of course not.
Will it kill to console. Allergic to affection?
Is an "I'm sorry, I love you baby" too much to ask for?
Is a hug too difficult to give?
Don't I deserve to be spoilt, or even loved anymore?
The torturous pain. The agonizing confusion. I never want to go through that again.
'Why isn't his phone turned on?'
'Is he avoiding me?'
'Is he with a girl, and he doesn't want me distrupting their date?'
'Is he making out with a girl?'
'Is he screwing the girl?'
Retribution? Ha.
I don't want to know. Nor care anymore.
I'm sure he doesn't either.
It's way overdued but I've finally made up my mind:
I give up.
joviee's musings at 11:35:00 PM
;
;
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